The Ambiguous Future of Copyright

by HOT TOCO

Half-dozen protesters in hazmat garb, one with a bullhorn:

  What do we want?
    Freedom!
  When do we want it?
    Now!
  How are we going to get it?
    MUTE the UTE ZERO!
  When are we going to do it?
    NOW!
    BE A HERO!
    MUTE the UTE ZERO!
  What do we want?
    Freedom!
  (cont.)
  

Friend1: "WTF's UTE ZERO? What's the line for?"

Friend2: "'UTE ZERO'!?"

Nearest protester: "UTE ZERO is defective by design!" and hands F1 a flyer.

Friend2: "Oh, this is where the Ubzubzu Store pop-up is! Cool, I crowdfunded this at level 'Advance notice of pop-up opening'. Damn, where was my advance notice?"

Still-close protester: "You made a ruinous compromise and lucked out so far! Reject the UTE ZERO as it rejects your freedom!"

Booming voice over much louder soundsystem: "This is Smark, thanks for supporting the Ubzubzu Store pop-up! We couldn't have desinged the coolest, most highly trusted device without you. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Now, let's take it to the next level. Buy a production run Ubzubzu Trusted Edge Zero Device now for only 0.0014BTC, delivered by May 2024. For two lucky pop-up supporters, I have two Ubzubzu Trusted Edge Minus Zero prototype devices NOW, for only 0.099BTC!"

Friend1: "Getting one? I mean minus one, er, zero?"

Friend2: "Do I look like I have 0.099BTC? Even 0.0014BTC is steep for something months out. But this flyer makes it sound hot, if Smark delivers."

Friend1: "Oh? What's this trust? I'm generally cool with my Ubzubzu Edge Eye 2022.10, old as it is. It doesn't even say what kind of advice it is!?"

Friend2: "I know, eye, finger, ear, implant?"

Friend1: "Ass..."

Friend2: "If I can extract info from this rant, I think Commonible, Ltd, is saying they've perfected trusted computing, fully protecting you from hacking and making ALL media available, fully compensating all value chains."

Friend3 (quiet one): "I read about sth like this, Project Xanaxu. Real old stuff. The inventor thought the Web failed to transclude micropayments."

Friend2: "If that's true, could be an end to the infowars."

Friend1: "These (pointing to the protesters) will be out of a gig."

Friend3: "Nah, they ceased to be relevant decades ago. They'll carry on projecting that we'll all be slaves to software we can't hack."

Friend1: "Isn't being unhackable the point?"

Friend3: "Um, would you give up your freedom for security and convenient access to entertainment?"

Friend1 & Friend2: "Yes!"